What Will the Government Blame Havana Syndrome on Next?

Screenshot of the article titled Internet Poll: What Will the Government Blame for the Havana Syndrome Next?

picture: Thassos Katopodes Pond (Getty Images)

Havana Syndrome, the bizarre malaise that afflicted more than a thousand members of the American diplomatic corps around the world, remains a total mystery. In fact, even while the government has tried to explain some of the weirdness away, it’s pretty clear we still have no idea what this thing is.

On Wednesday, the intelligence community apparently concluded, no, the Havana syndrome no kind of result Sonic weapon controlled by a foreign power. Well, sort of. A popular and persistent theory that has sought to explain why diplomats and CIA officers around the world are struck by the oddity Neurological disordersThe “sonic weapon” theory assumed that Somebody– a potential geopolitical enemy – he was using a mysterious, never-before-seen weapon to mentally harm American officials. Some proponents of this theory blamed Russia as the likely culprit.

However, the latest “Intelligence Community Assessment” from the Office of the Director of National Intelligence (ODNI), compiled after years of investigation, Concludes that it was “extremely unlikely” – for the majority of cases – that nerve injuries were caused by stun weapons or that a foreign power was involved. Instead, the government has attributed What are now called “abnormal health events” or AHI refer to “pre-existing conditions, classic diseases, and environmental factors.”

Curiously, these results seem to contradict what many intelligence officials have said previously on the subject. In February 2022, a committee of scientific experts working for the intelligence agencies was formed I finish That was the Havana Syndrome probably It is caused by “pulsed electromagnetic energy being delivered by an external device” – a claim that has also been floated by various government officials since the events first began to unfold years ago.

To make matters even more confusing, Govt also He said Wed that for a small set of cases — about two dozen — they could not rule out “foreign involvement.” With this somewhat vague information in mind, also keep in mind that this whole situation is further complicated by the fact that it is being reported second hand. The report, which has not been made public, is being fed to reporters by government insiders familiar with what was said, though the exact wording the government used seems somewhat murky and not entirely clear.

For obvious reasons, the interpretation of a sonic weapon has always been fiercely controversial. Aside from evocative rhetoric about “ray-guns” and shadowy conspiracies, the science behind this type of hypothetical weapon has been hotly debated. doubt On this front some critics have even led to it accuse The government is conducting a kind of psychological operation to frame our geopolitical opponents for disease. However, the skeptics didn’t do a good job of accounting for what they actually did It happened to the victims. If there was no ray, what happened to the brains of these people?

Well, according to a recent Intelligence Community release, the answer to that question is twofold. For the majority of cases, the answer is: not much! But also: For a few people…maybe a ray gun?

In the same statement attributing the strange episodes to “environmental factors” and “traditional diseases,” Avril Haines, Director of National Intelligence and President of ODNI, also strangely advertiser That “these findings do not call into question the very real experiences and symptoms reported by our colleagues and their family members.”

…except, they kind of do, right? I mean, unless I’m missing something here, the government has completely failed to explain what happened to these people. What “traditional diseases” may cause these symptoms? Were the symptoms as described real? What “environmental factors” could have caused this to happen? I mean researchers at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine is found Signs of actual brain damage in 40 alleged State Department victims. Was it due to the aforementioned factors and diseases?

At this point, the total lack of answers is par for the course. Indeed, the sonic weapon theory is just one of a seemingly endless series of explanations espoused that have been put forward to explain the alien ailments. For the review, in addition to Raygon’s secret global conspiracy, the Havana Syndrome has also been blamed on cockroaches, pesticides, “emotional stress or stress,” mass hysteria, mysterious “environmental and medical factors,” and something called “Ultrasound. Now, according to the recently shared report, the government appears to be blaming Other benign culprits include previously diagnosed diseases, “malfunctioning air conditioning and ventilation systems,” and “electromagnetic waves coming from innocuous devices such as a computer mouse.” Since none of these things have anything to do with each other, it feels like people are throwing shit at the wall to see what sticks.

I mean, seriously, what He is this thing? Is it an unprecedentedly painful illness that is now bizarrely attributed to rather mundane causes? Is it a fabricated attempt to blame Russia and China for the fictitious (but strangely implausible) actions? A case of “mass hysteria” simultaneously afflicting State Department officials around the world — people who, ordinarily, are not particularly susceptible to hysteria? Or is it a case of a horde of CIA agents really needing a vacation (stress was blamed, remember)…and then carry on”60 minutesTo seriously explain really strange symptoms that have nothing to do with needing a vacation? Or have they all been shot with a ray gun and that there are ray guns out there and someone is out shooting them with wild abandon?

whatever The real answer is, it kind of begs the question: What is the government going to blame for the Havana Syndrome next? I humbly offer the following possibilities for your consideration:

  • Allowing a lot of lint to build up in the dryer vent
  • Eating while lying down
  • Ghost of Fidel Castro
  • That thing where your computer overheats and starts humming really loudly
  • Tik Tok
  • beer before liquor
  • Cultural Marxism
  • Tik Tok
  • economic inflation

My guess is probably Tiktok or inflation, but feel free to speak up in the comments section if you have any solid ideas.


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