Oprah Winfrey, shortly before appearing in air
Hell hath no fury like Oprah Winfrey conned.
"The truth does matter," Winfrey said Thursday while confronting fiction author James Frey, "You lying little sack of crap."
Viewers saw Winfrey begin to rise out of her chair and open her eyes wide.
"And now," Winfrey said, "I have bigger fish to Frey."
An electrical distrubance cut the video. Members of the studio audience reported that Winfrey left the set quite irate ... and quite vertically.
The National Weather Service has rated Oprah as a Category 5, with an 89 percent chance of striking Washington, D.C in two days.
Politicians are scrambling to find transportation out of the city. But limousine service has been disrupted by the storm.
Some have given up, and have sought shelter in the Capitol dome.
"It's terrub ... terrub ... it's awful," said Congressman Tom Delay (R-Texas) by cell phone. "There's no food, no water, and no lobbyists. I haven't had a buh ... bribe in the last 24 hours."
"Dear God in Heaven," Delay pleaded, "Whatever you do, don't send FEMA."
Notified of the coming disaster, President Bush lost no time. He immediately booked Air Force One for a trip to Crawdad, Texas, where he will chop wood until the crisis is over.
|2011/03/07||Governor Walker visits Farmer Brown|
|2006/10/31||Scary characters promised for Nov. 7 Halloween celebration|
|2006/10/13||Bush stubs toe; blames Clinton|
|2006/09/25||John McCain eats a bug|
|2006/09/18||Fighting fascism requires dictatorial powers, fervent nationalism|
|2006/09/10||Mickey Mouse resigns from Disney|
|2006/08/28||Pluto leaving Solar System entirely|
|2006/08/15||Liquids banned; snakes welcomed|
|2006/07/25||Embryos evacuated safely from Lebanon|
|2006/06/26||Microsoft to counter growing robot threat|
|2006/06/17||Alderaan survivors are enjoying homeworld's death, says author|
|2006/05/30||Mexican banditos may get amnesty for service in NSA|
|2006/04/24||Aquaman elected mayor of New Orleans|
|2006/04/17||Kunta Kinte advises caution on 'guest worker' program|
|2006/03/27||White House toilet clogged by U.S. Constitution|
|2006/03/13||White House defends spying on Frankenfurter mansion|
|2006/03/07||Yet another pig lipsticked|
|2006/02/28||ABC to air Lost retrospective retrospective|
|2006/02/20||Media unfair to Darth Vader|
|2006/02/10||Bush orders surveillance of black funerals|
|2006/02/06||Paris Hilton missing after cruise ship wedding to Scott Peterson|
|2006/01/30||Oprah summons the full power of the storm|
|2006/01/23||Plantation owners offended by Clinton's "plantation" remark|
|2006/01/16||G.O.P. sued for breach of Contract with America|
|2006/01/11||Nosferatu promises to keep an open mind|
|2006/01/09||God sues Pat Robertson for slander|
|2006/01/02||Bush expresses, hires Lowered Expectations|