The supreme being of the universe has filed suit against televangelist Pat Robertson, alleging defamation of character.
"The charlatan points at me every time something goes wrong," God complained to reporters. "Whether it's a natural disaster or somebody's got a hangnail."
"I created the universe and the tiny 11-dimensional dice that control its behavior," God said. "I am not the boogeyman."
"Dice?" asked one reporter.
"Oh," God said. "Forget I said that."
"Said what?" replied that reporter.
The suit also requests that Robertson cease issuance of threats in God's name.
"I am not at the beck and call of a miscreant to harm cities, towns and villages," God said. "Or to cause resignations, assassinations and illnesses."
"That's a relief," said a Newsweek reporter.
"Yes, well I am the nice one," God said.
On his television show, Robertson warned God that the trial could lead to trouble at home.
"This trial could bring about hurricanes, cloudquakes, and ... possibly a meteor," Robertson said. "I'd like to say to God, if there's a, heh-heh, heh-heh, disaster in Heaven, don't turn to Pat Robertson, you just sued him."
Robertson is being represented by Lindsey McDonald, of the respected law firm Wolfram & Hart.
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