Claims of "snow" are ridiculous, says Cheney

Cheney: No White House snow job

Claims that "snow" covers the northern states during winter are ridiculous, said Vice President Dick Cheney yesterday.

"The baseless accusation that water forms symmetrical crystals in colder temperatures is dishonest and reprehensible," Cheney said. "It is also corrupt and shameless."

Further accusations of snow, Cheney warned Democrats, would be met by additional adjectives.

Cheney derided those who have suggested the existence of snow.

"I don't know about you," Cheney argued, "But when I put water in the freezer, I get ice - not snow."

Cheney's comments followed those of President Bush, who opened the door to "honest, open debate" about the three phases of water - ice, liquid water and steam.

"I do not believe it is wrong to discuss the three phases of water or any aspect thereof," Cheney said. "What is not legitimate is the suggestion that solid water may have more than one form."

Cheney declined to comment on the existence of plasma, citing medical confidentiality.

"One might argue that those suggesting the existence of snow are providing aid and comfort to the enemy, are traitors, and should be shot," Cheney said. "Not that I'm saying that."

Asked about the existence of snow, President Bush replied that his "young and irresponsible" past was no longer relevant.

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