FAUX NEWS

 

G.O.P. eager to investigate leak
about CIA puppy grinding factories

Frist: Puppy grinding protects America

Related stories

Senate Majority Bill Frist (R-Tenn.) promised today to investigate this week's leak that the CIA runs a network of puppy-grinding factories in Eastern European countries.

"I'm very concerned about the leak," Frist said. "Not the puppy-grinding factories themselves, mind you ... just the leak."

He added that he was not concerned about what went on inside the factories' walls.

"The CIA is respecting the laws of the United States," Frist said. "That's why the secret puppy-grinding factories are in Eastern Europe."

House Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.) will assist in the investigation.

"We're both eager," Hastert said, "To focus on a CIA leak that was not orchestrated by the White House."

Bush addresses issue

President Bush responded to the leak yesterday.

"We do not grind puppies," Bush said.

The White House opposes a Senate bill that would ban puppy grinding.

RSS feed

Recent stories

2011/03/07 Governor Walker visits Farmer Brown
2006/10/31 Scary characters promised for Nov. 7 Halloween celebration
2006/10/13 Bush stubs toe; blames Clinton
2006/09/25 John McCain eats a bug
2006/09/18 Fighting fascism requires dictatorial powers, fervent nationalism
2006/09/10 Mickey Mouse resigns from Disney
2006/08/28 Pluto leaving Solar System entirely
2006/08/15 Liquids banned; snakes welcomed
2006/07/25 Embryos evacuated safely from Lebanon
2006/06/26 Microsoft to counter growing robot threat
2006/06/17 Alderaan survivors are enjoying homeworld's death, says author
2006/05/30 Mexican banditos may get amnesty for service in NSA
2006/04/24 Aquaman elected mayor of New Orleans
2006/04/17 Kunta Kinte advises caution on 'guest worker' program
2006/03/27 White House toilet clogged by U.S. Constitution
2006/03/13 White House defends spying on Frankenfurter mansion
2006/03/07 Yet another pig lipsticked
2006/02/28 ABC to air Lost retrospective retrospective
2006/02/20 Media unfair to Darth Vader
2006/02/10 Bush orders surveillance of black funerals
2006/02/06 Paris Hilton missing after cruise ship wedding to Scott Peterson
2006/01/30 Oprah summons the full power of the storm
2006/01/23 Plantation owners offended by Clinton's "plantation" remark
2006/01/16 G.O.P. sued for breach of Contract with America
2006/01/11 Nosferatu promises to keep an open mind
2006/01/09 God sues Pat Robertson for slander
2006/01/02 Bush expresses, hires Lowered Expectations

Faux-News Archives