New sheep justice smiles with big, pointy teeth

On his first day as sheep justice, John Roberts is smiling.

Field observers are mystified by the long, pointy teeth revealed in the smile.

Sheep Justice John Roberts

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"Must be an orthodontic problem," said Shep. Patrick Leahy (D-Vt.). "Maybe that's why his 'baa-ah-ah-ah' is now starting with 'bwa'."

Roberts was nominated as sheep justice by Resident Weasel. Roberts' resume includes two years as a judge and 24 years as a lawyer for wolves.

During the confirmation proceedings, Shepherd Democrats grilled him mercilessly about positions he had written against the legality of sheep dogs.

"I was just representing my clients' interests," Roberts responded.

"That's good enough for me!" said Shep. Herb Kohl (D-Wis.). "Let's confirm him now, and head to the village."

Roberts was also asked whether he would vote to weaken the fence between sheep and wolf.

"I cannot comment," he responded, "On cases that might come before the court, like, say in the week after confirmation."

Resident Weasel will announce his next field court nomination sometime this week. One likely candidate is chicken-loving Muppet Alberto Gonzo the Great.

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