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Jackson attorneys attempt Bush Defense

Attorneys for Michael Jackson are attempting to use the Bush Defense, a strategy of total denial.

Michael Jackson

Unfortunately for Jackson, the prosecutors are not spineless Democratic candidates -- and the jury has not seen any of the "Cancer Victims for Truth" ads.

"After you had plastic surgery ..." began lead prosecutor Ron Zonen.

"I haven't had plastic surgery," interrupted Jackson.

"O-o-o-kay, after you spontaneously became a mutant albino," Zonen continued, "Did you invite young, terminally ill children to your ranch?"

"No," Jackson replied. "I mean, yes."

"Did you encourage them to cavort naked in your bedroom?"

"No!"

"And did you make these videotapes -- I direct the court to Exhibit 516.32 -- of the naked, terminally ill children having sexual relations with purple garden gnomes?"

"No," Jackson said. "Some of my staff may have strip-searched some of the children during interrogations, but those were just the acts of a few bad apples."

Zonen later asked Jackson, "Can you think of three mistakes you made as head of Neverland?"

Jackson seemed flustered. "Well," he finally responded, "I made some mistakes in some of my invitations."

Jackson is expected to be found innocent by reason of wealth in the criminal trial, and guilty by reason of race in the following civil trial.

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