Aliens leaving Earth

Alien researchers have begun leaving the Earth, according to spokesbeing Kla2.

"Frankly, we were a little disappointed in the U.S. election," Kla2 told reporters in the aliens' first and last public appearance.

The aliens have been on Earth since the 1950s, as part of their species' search for intelligent life.

"We kept hoping," Kla2 said. "Some of you organisms occasionally showed promise. We hate going home empty-tentacled."

Kla2 said forty-two aliens were on Earth at the time of the election, and most are already packed.

"No offense," Kla2 said, "But you organisms just chose a chimp for the leader of the most powerful country on your planet. An incompetent and irresponsible chimp with a smirk on his face and a radio on his back."

"We considered moving to Canada, but it just wasn't far enough."

"Good riddance!" said Billy Bob Johnson. "We don't need no stinking aliens in the U.S. of A. In this country, we don't question the President, 'ceptin' he's a Democrat, then we ride him 'till the cows come home.

"And that ain't goin' happen, seein' as how them damn aliens done mutilated my cattle after they abducted me and gave me the alien probe!"

"We do not conduct alien probes," Kla2 replied, while climbing into his spaceship. "Our databanks show that Billy Bob Johnson's alien probe was conducted by his neighbor Jimmy John, after the consumption of mass quantities of fermented grains."

"Please listen closely," Kla2 said. "Ignoring or altering facts that don't fit your beliefs is not a sign of intelligence. Voters for the chimp should take heed."

The last alien is scheduled to leave before the chimp's second term begins.

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